My First 5k - The Good, The Bad, and So On (Workout #2 for July)

Today I ran my first 5K. A few weeks ago, I lamented on Facebook how there was a 5K on the Fourth of July at the same time as my church's annual pancake breakfast. While I was not graduated from the Couch to 5K program, I would be in week 7, and wanted to see what I could do. My friend WB asked if there was a 5K an hour earlier, would I run it. Yes.

I owe WB a LOT of credit. He organized a 5K with only a few weeks to prepare. He mapped it out, recruited volunteers to be stationed along the route to guide runners, placed cones, came up with prizes, and supplied Gatorade, on his own dime. There were 35 runners. I am amazed and so thankful that he did this, and I was able to see how far I've come! Thank you WB!!! So much!!!

I was pretty nervous last night. For what I didn't know. I think I was afraid of looking like a fool. But, when I arrived, I didn't worry anymore. I just wanted to go go go.

Knowing I was not even remotely one of the faster runners, I hung back at the starting line and went at my own pace.

There were obstacles... Inclines I didn't know would be there, many roots breaking up through the concrete trail, making it a challenge to run with a jogging stroller, sweet wonderful racers who were walking and wanting to chat even if you wanted to keep running but didn't want to be rude, it was longer than anything I'd ever ran, thus far, I didn't know my route and got lost at one point which lead to a little um, cross country traversing with the stroller through bushes and trees... It was warm, but not terrible, and my allergies were in full force.

I was pretty frustrated at how much I walked. My run was peppered with little walks. Every time I slowed to walk, I just felt, well... like a failure. I was also running against/with 2 dozen seasoned runners who I am more or less friends with. I thought, "Who am I to think I'm even one of them?" and "What makes me think I even belong here?" (This is hard for me to confess my emotion, but I promised ES and KNBO'R that I would tell it like it was.)

I rounded a corner, and the volunteer, KC said, "Every time someone passes me I feel a year older." It made me laugh, and I realized how much younger I've felt since I started running two months ago.

I found myself on the street behind the start/finish point, and discovered how very close I was. I couldn't believe I'd come so far. I ran and ran and ran and ran. I imagined my friend KNBO'R standing at the corner saying "Come on Lissa. This is what we've been training for. I know you can do it." It is what she would have said, and I was encouraged to press on. After the race, I learned that in her town, 550 miles away, KNBO'R also ran 5K, although she's on 7.3 of Couch to 5K. She did it to run with me. I get teary when I think of it. What a sweet sacrifice, and precious effort. I will never forget it.

I probably got within an eighth of a mile and I smelled the pancakes being cooked at the church. I slowed to a walk, to prepare for a final run. And shortly, I ran again.

I ran into the parking lot, and was rewarded with an unanticipated feeling. I saw my husband's truck and a flood of joy filled me. I knew he was there waiting for me. I knew he was there cheering for me. At that point, there was no one else I'd rather see in the whole world. I forget sometimes exactly how much I love that man I see almost every (ordinary) day. At that moment I felt that overpowering feeling of gratitude and love for his support and encouragement, and it gave me great purpose.

I rounded the corner in the parking lot, and saw the crowd cheering for incoming runners. I saw The Captain, proud as can be. I was not stopping for anything. I was so exhilarated and excited.

And then I felt sick. And faint. NO!

I slowed to a walk, and walked for a little while. But I couldn't help myself. It was like I HAD to run. It was almost a physical need, because it was such a powerful emotional need. I started to jog, then run. I would say I sprinted, if you can do that after running three miles for the first time in your life. I ran my tired heart out, and made it across the finish line.

I felt sick to my stomach.

Thinking I was going to be sick, and not wanting to share with my friends, I doubled back quickly enough that my earphones The Captain was holding snapped in two, as I headed to the church building. I realized as I got closer, the feeling was fading as I walked. So The Captain walked with me, as I regained my composure. The good news is, I get to buy new earbuds. ;)

What followed surprised me. I felt...bummed. Embarrassed. Humiliated even. I saw the picture of me The Captain took, and I was frustrated at how I look.

You see, I'm a perfectionist. hahaha. hm. So... I was sad I didn't run the whole time. I was embarrassed that I even thought I could do it, or associate with people who did the same run in less than half the time. I felt like a joke. In the picture, I looked bad. There's no other word for it. Just bad. I wondered where the runner's high was. Where the sense of completion and success was. I was just forlorn about it all, and felt like it was a mental way to feel! What was my problem??? Was it an adrenaline crash? Lack of blood sugar?

I just couldn't get into the pancake breakfast that was held after the race. The Captain, sensing this, offered to go home. I was glad. I felt bad, but I was glad.

We had a nap, and talked for a while. Over the course of the day I began to realize that I've only been actually running for two months. Most of those people have been running for years. Some of them are just those people who are good at everything they do. This is new for me though. I have a way to go. My finish line was not the end. It was just a marker along my journey.

If I never run another race again, I'll be fine. I'm running for me. But if WB does this again next year, I'll do it again, and I'll be glad to see how much I've improved. After all, look how far I've come in such a short time. Another year and I'll feel like a runner.

For the record, my stats were: 26th of 35, time 44:30 (better than I thought! - Couch to 5k trains you to do it in 40, so I'm not far off, eh?) ‎12/18 females 3/3 by category. I don't know what my category was. Jogging stroller category?

What's next? Well, I finish my training. I put on my running shoes and try again. Wednesday is Week 7 Day 3 of Couch to 5K. I think I can do it. After all, I completed a 5K...