My sister, ES, convinced me to write this. She said it's very human. Today I set off like usual, after the bus came, Peach and I headed out for our run. I was not into it. I have found that I am lacking a little motivation. I think I actually need to make a list of my motivations. It could help! I didn't realize I would need such a list to keep me going. At any rate, the first run came along, and I ran it. I was frustrated to see the pile of leaves is STILL in the sidewalk. I was relieved to see the basketball stand thing was moved, but their car was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk...
The second run, the next cul-de-sac STILL had a pile of rocks. The following cul-de-sac STILL had a tree that needed majorly trimmed. I was so frustrated with the obstacles, and just stopped. Fifteen minutes into my run, I turned around and headed toward home, frustrated, defeated, and generally cranky.
So far, during running, I have had numerous obstacles, and always found a way around them. Some were physical, some were mental. However, when the obstacles present are ones I encounter over and over again, and cannot do anything about, I get so frustrated. I realized as I was walking back home, two things: 1) I would be blogging about this, and while everyone would be polite and tell me it was fine, just try again Wednesday, it still is so sad to say I couldn't even try for 30 minutes. And 2) In life, if the same path doesn't work for you, and you encounter unrelenting obstacles, generally the wise choice would be to redirect your path, to choose a new road.
I reached the point where I start my running, after my warmup. I turned around again, backed up my program on my app, and started over, with run #1. I ran it. I didn't go down the cul-de-sacs at all, but instead went straight for the park. I ran #2, with a small walking break in the middle. I ran #3. I ran #4 and wanted to cry, and took about a 30 second walking break. I did my cool down, and went home. My 30 minute program took me 45 minutes. I did not bring my head or my heart. I was not proud of myself. I was not happy for what I'd just done.
But I did it.
I will be re-doing Week 4 Day 3's run for the third time on Wednesday. This time I will do it right, the whole time. But beforehand I am going to make a list of my motivations.
So there it is. What would motivate you to exercise daily with no end in sight?
We all have down days. But I like your attitude - you aren't giving up. You are going to redo it and do it better the next time around. If I could I would do it with you. But I am there in heart if not in presence. I sure am grateful you are my friend. You are such an example to me.
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