Recently I had an "a-ha" moment that if I was going to have a "better" life, it was going to be up to me. I know you all are so thankful for the opportunity to follow me on yet another emotional, life-altering journey. In my previous life I had attended college, but neglected to finish for a few reasons. I started to go into why... and deleted it all. Too much drama! And really, who likes drama? Not this girl! At any rate, I am WELL into my Bachelor's Degree. In Geophysics.
After indulging (haha) myself in single-motherhood, and trying to find and maintain a job suitable to raise a family (despite my truly awesome resume) in the dregs of the economy, I found the NEED to return to school.
But do I do Geophysics, or do I do Photography, following my business I've worked successfully for several years?
Newly married to an incredible support (The Captain, obviously), and post-baby, I knew that the time for schooling was imminent, but I still didn't know what to do.
Then one morning at 3am, I sat upright with a clear understanding that I needed to do photography because I see the world differently than others do, and it is my purpose to reveal it to others. Don't get me wrong, I am self-conscious about my work, and have my doubts, but perhaps schooling will fill in where I lack...
Fast-forward to TODAY.
The University of Oregon loves to play on their "Duck" mascot. Especially lately. And while I've been a fan all of my life, I think some if it is a weeeee bit overboard. Today I went to an introDUCKtion. har har har.
Bear and Lambie were watched today by my friend-to-the-rescue-thank-goodness, SC. Peach and I drove the 1 1/2 hours down to Eugene, and entered the orientation hall. And there I realized it. I. WAS. SO. OLD. I am that person! You know, those slightly whack middle-ish aged ladies who raised their kids and decided to go back to school, and somehow know everything, for real, so you think they should get an honorary degree, but you really hope that since they can't, that they'll at least do REALLY well, so they can get a great job for the, what, 10 YEARS they'll be in the workforce before they have to retire... okay, maybe 15 years...??? Yes, I am that person.
I sat down with my wee babe, in front of a young couple... I saw a few people my age, or a little older, and then realized they were with their kids, who would be attending with me. Sigh...
Over the course of the day, I was almost dismissed from my workshop group because Peach had an increasing whimper because she wanted to nurse. -Luckily I brought my cover- As I spoke with financial aid, and learned so much, Peach began to cry, and I held her, discovering later that the Diaper of Doom had spread onto my shirt sleeve. I cleaned us both off (I called my husband to almost cry), and rolled up my sleeves.
I got my photo ID and got my handprint scanned for cardless entry into the gym/rec center. This was area number three, where I was looked at funny and was asked, "Are you a...student?" or "are you interested in this resource, or are you asking for someone else?"
hm....
I got so much done, though! And stayed cheery!
At one point I needed to go to the hall of my major department, and when I saw the distance I said, "OH WOW!" and the spry young chicken showing me the map said, "I know! It's really close!" hahaha. hmmm...
Peach and I enjoyed lunch, which is now HEALTHY and KOSHER and ORGANIC! When did college lunches get healthy? I had a full tray that had probably less calories than my 4 oz of Dr Pepper. But I loved it. And so did Peach! She had edamame, a slice of watermelon, pineapple, tomatoes, bread, corn, and green beans! Amazing. And we ate alone. Around us were bunches of transfer students meeting and greeting and eating together. I used to be them. But truly, I couldn't have picked a better lunch partner. I don't think any other person I know would have clapped every time I fed them a bite of watermelon.
I enjoyed visiting with the staff, who were more my age. And one of them gave Peach a cowboy rubber ducky, which she enjoyed very much. I didn't mind when one of the academic advisors told me of scholarships and services I probably qualify for because I'm not a "traditional" student. It made me chuckle to myself that the current college students working at the orientation would talk a little slower, or more animated, like they were entertaining the ol' girl.
I struggled with my schedule, being so late into the registration, but I am excited. I am excited that I was able to get SO much done before the term starts in two months. I am excited that almost all that's left of my degree is my major. I am excited that I've got my head on straight and have my act together.
My motivation is my family. I am not doing it to be social. I am not doing it for a NEED to be professional. I am not doing it because that's what you do when you're 20.... er... 30something. I regret that it's taken me so very long to get on the right page of life, but better now than later, right? One life, and I've wasted so many years. It is time for me to claim my life, and provide a great life and example for my children. Even if I am the ol' girl on campus and have nothing in common with anyone. It's two years of crazy commuting, homework, and nonsense. But I am going to rock it.